i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
