So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
