So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
