Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
