There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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