His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
