I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
