Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
