So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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