Sacagawea was the original milf.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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