There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
