i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
