I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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