new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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