I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
