I looked at my own cervix.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Green mimosas i think yes
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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