It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
