Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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