Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
