I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
