No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
