so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
