how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
