Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's official drugs can't kill me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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