I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize