this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
