No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
