his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
