Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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