Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
