How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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