She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
