did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My ATM looks so different sober.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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