You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
