well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
