I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
