he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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