the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
They left me at home... I'm a liability
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
