It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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