Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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