His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
