is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
