we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
