I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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