No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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