No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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