I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
