thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Everyone says I win the strip club
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize