i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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