Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
