I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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