Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
