I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
