just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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