Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
