Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want to make a zoo with you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize