She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
