you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
