even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
