Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
