You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Green mimosas i think yes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
