be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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