bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
